found some peace

I was really upset today, thinking this baby was never going to show! I cried lots more tears, and I think I ran out! My co-workers even saw my tears. I am due so soon, and no baby yet! Chris and I never even entertained the thought of either being pregnant for x-mas or in the hospital for x-mas. We always thought baby would he here before them. Christmas is right around the corner! It could happen, and we talked about if that were to happen that it would be ok. And, if it's a baby girl born on x-mas eve, or x-mas day.... her middle name would just have to be Noelle! Wonder if there is a boy's name that works well with christmas.... besides Jesus that is.

I left work early today, and got home the same time as Chris. He helped calm my tears, and rubbed my aching back. Then we talked tonight. He reminded me of what I truely believe in, and helped me get thru our months of trying to get pregnant. We both think that each life is meant to happen when it happens. Each of us is meant to enter this world when we do to the families we are born to. I strongly believe that. So I have to have faith that this little one will be here when he/she is supposed to be. Whether that is in the next few days, or x-mas day.

Yeah, with our lives things would work out best if he/she gets here now. I start maternity leave friday. Chris starts vacation Dec. 20th. We need to let things happen as they should and I need to stop getting upset about it! (ahh, this is just me! someone could have preached this to me over and over again..... and I dont really listen.... I needed to figure this out on my own!)